No More “Well, If…”

We don’t like to hear it, and most times we shouldn’t use it.

No More

In addition to seeing fewer people believe that sharing a Facebook post will result in money, my wish/hope/prayer/desire for 2016 would be that I’d see as few statements as possible in the upcoming year that begin with, “Well, if.” Let’s face it, we don’t always like to hear statements that begin with that phrase; particularly when it pertains to some type of incident that may have gone badly in our lives. Whether we’re working hard and struggling to drop a few pounds, have lost the competition for jobs, or lost a good friendship or relationship, the last thing we want to hear from others is a phrase that begins with, “Well, if…”: Well, if you’d {insert criticism}; Well, if he’d {insert criticism}; Well, if the parents {insert criticism}.

It’s not about avoiding the truth in situations, or being stubborn. In most instances we’ve simply been present. Unfortunately, there are times when our presence as members of the human race isn’t good enough. I suppose the use of “Well, if” can be seen as armchair quarterbacking the lives of others. While many of us may have engaged in the practice, we hate to see/hear it used in our own lives or with those we care about. Perhaps it boils down to the willingness of individuals to show compassion and a willingness to say; “Well, what can I do to help” instead. If we’re not at a point in our lives where we can support others, then perhaps it lies in our ability to hold criticism and remain grateful concerning the health, safety and peace of mind of those we care about.

Why am I sharing my 2 cents?

In 2015 I observed far too many instances when the humanity of others wasn’t good enough — and those tragedies were compounded with statements that placed the responsibility to live on those who began their day with the basic assumption that their lives mattered because they were human. “Well, if they’d…” {Paris}; “Well, if we’d…” {Colorado Springs}; Well, if we’d…” {San Bernardino}; “Well, if he’d…” {Tamir}; “Well, if she’d…” {Sandra}. Admittedly, this isn’t a typical start-of-the-year message with personal goals for 2016. And I’m not so naïve to assume 2016 will be free from similar tragedies. My hope is that our responses to the tragedies will be more compassionate, and free from diminishing those who lost their lives because others failed to see their humanity.

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